chapter b after fifty

Chapter B – To Be or not to Be

For some of us this is Chapter B. For others it’s even chapter C or D. But we don’t give up because we all need the love and caring that comes with relationships. Unfortunately, the older we get, the harder it is to find a relationship.

It’s hard to find a “twin soul” a significant other who will will be supportive, loving, passionate, kind …

I wish that I could give you a tip here that will help us all but girls, it’s not easy at all. So maybe I’ll just tell you about my last experience.

Recently I was in contact with a wonderful man. He had in him almost everything I wished for. He was attentive,full of  love, caring, wanting to give … all I actually dreamed about.

I wanted such a relationship for a very long time. I was looking for someone to treat me as I felt that I should be treated and I got it big time. A loving man came to me, he wanted a serious relationship, he was giving and warm. In short, everything I wanted.

But I wasn’t happy or comfortable with this relationship. What did I miss? Why it didn’t  work out?
It was strange but suddenly I realized that while I waited for Mr. right and while I searched, something happened to me and within me.

During the time that I was alone I developed a new career and added a home based business (in addition to my 9-5 job). I developed and invested in relationships with my childhood friends whom I always took for granted and whom from time to time abandoned in favor of failed relationships.

I traveled abroad alone for the first time in my life and I enjoyed every minute. Yes, I was sometimes sad in the evenings when I saw couples at my age hanging out together but yet, it was a good, liberating experience.

And of course, my family.  Our children and grandchildren around us are the strongest backbone which supports our whole being.

The simple fact was that my needs had changed. That I no longer need a close partner with me at home twenty four seven. That I don’t want or need financial support. That it is important for me to preserve and enjoy my independence.

Suddenly I discovered that my dream was no longer relevant to who I am now and that this person, with all the goodness in him, was no longer suitable for me.

And I parted from him. Sadly but with the understanding that our needs are different.

So what am I saying here to myself and to all of us? Maybe a tip came out of it anyway. At this time that you are alone invest in yourself. Fall in love with yourself. Treat yourself kindly. Be in a relationship with yourself. For this is the ground and soil from which power grows.

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